What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Needs

I don't ever announce this through social media, but it brought out some interesting thoughts which I think needs to be said. Last night, I got asked out on a date. Now before your thoughts go and run wild, I want to put down some background. I hope my date doesn't mind me saying, but I'm sure he would agree that this date is definitely a friend date. There are no romantic desires involved. We're just friends (1. He's about 4 years younger than me, 2. He's a good 6 inches shorter than me). But even with all those things in mind, I'm really excited to go. Last night, I told many friends I saw and just couldn't stop thinking about it. At one point, I thought, "Why am I so excited? What makes this different than if he just asked to hang out?" As I thought more about it, the answer came that girls like to be asked on dates. It brings all these flurries of emotions. Girls like to get all 'purtied up', tell their friends and family the before and after details, and simply to know someone pays attention to them. A date is a huge compliment to a girl. Now this is not a plea for all men to get on the ball to ask girls on dates because I know you get enough pressure from others (if not from yourself). This post is not about the "d" word in that sentence (date), but the "c" word: compliment.

A compliment goes a long way. As stated in this last conference from our beloved prophet, Thomas S. Monson, "You may forget words you express today, but the recipient will remember them for a lifetime." I am one of those recipients who many have given thoughtful, kind compliments. I'm so grateful for those people who have told me those wonderful nice words. One experience I will definitely not forget in this lifetime or the next. I think this will come as a shock to some of you (which it shouldn't many girls go through this), but as a young girl, I didn't think myself as pretty. I was 5 foot in 3rd grade, so I always felt like the giant. I had crooked teeth which I was so ashamed of I didn't want to smile in pictures. I didn't even want to be in them. I always volunteered to be the one to take the picture. This is sad now because there are many group pictures that I have found where I remember the event, but I'm not in them. Yes, adults, especially my dad, told me that I was pretty. But, of course, my dad told me I was pretty. My dad's a great dad! But I didn't believe my dad or any other person because I felt like they had to, and at the time it felt easier to accept that I wasn't pretty. Not necessarily ugly, but there were features I definitely didn't want to have. Now don't think I was this depressed little girl. I loved my childhood. I found ways to be "Jolley" ;) But it's just when it came to myself and my looks, I didn't want to think about it. In 9th grade, a group of friends and I got ready for "the prom". We weren't 16 yet, so we took the day to get ready for the stake dance. Yep, poofy prom dresses and all ;) It was so much fun! We went to the dance, and some time during the night, this boy asked me to dance. Then he told me something which I will never forget, "You look pretty tonight." I could just feel the warmth go all through me, and for the first time that I can remember, I truly felt pretty. I believed I was pretty. This memory will stick with me probably forever. I even still remember the song we danced to! "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban. The boy that night truly did raise me up.  This is the power of a compliment especially from guys to a girl. This boy doesn't know what he did for me. He probably doesn't even remember it, but I do. He gave me a sincere, caring compliment which helped me change my attitude about how I viewed myself from that day on.

This doesn't just show the power of a compliment but the importance. Why else would God command us to love our neighbor? (Mark 12:31) We need to feel, see, and hear that love and support from each other. I am sure I am not the only one who has been changed from hearing truth and goodness from another. We ALL need it. It doesn't need to be as big of a compliment as asking someone on a date, but it could be just as simple as saying "I like your bracelet" or "You are so funny!" or "You make me happy when I see you". These are truths which could influence a life. The bracelet could be a hidden talent which inspires an entrepreneur. Confidence could be boosted to a shy, yet funny kid. Or someone who believes he or she has no friends sees that at least one person is happy when he or she is around. Yes, it might not be this dramatic, but isn't it worth the try? I double-dog dare you to try it. ;) Who knows? Maybe you'll become happier by complimenting someone else. I know I sure do. So thank you to my future date who asked me last night for that compliment of wanting to use your precious time with me. And thank you all for being in my life at least at some point. You have the power and the important blessing of helping someone become better than where he or she was. I am proof of that. Thank you. Volim vas.