God's Time

For more than two years now, almost every day I have worn a ring which has written on it "השם זמן" or Lord's Time (well literally Lord and Time, but that's a different story). I absolutely love this ring. I play with it often thinking about the events in my life which have been carefully constructed by my Heavenly Father and done in His time. The past few weeks, I have had many conversations with people discussing this very topic. A lot of those conversations beginning with, "Why?" "Why can't I just know the future?" "Why do I have to deal with this?" "Why can't I just move on with my life?" "Why is this happening to me?" "Why?" Then the answer we come up with always comes to "I don't know. It's God's timing." Sometimes healing takes longer depending on the cause of the fracture or the person who is healing. Some people experience trials which they definitely don't deserve. Some weaknesses we have are there, so we can learn to overcome. It stinks. It doesn't seem fair. But there's a reason. I don't ever remember hearing this story before this past Sunday, but it really effected me during church. My sister was in a car accident over 7 years ago. When my parents heard that she was in critical condition, my dad turned to my mom and said along the lines, "Well, let's see what the Lord has to bless us today." The faith my family had helped me get through one of my most difficult trials of my life. Trials are super hard, but as we have the faith, we will get through. It's unfair what my sister and family had to go through, but the blessings came in a hundredfold throughout those 10 days she was in the hospital. The blessings continued to follow the days, months, and even years after. I still see blessings today from that experience. Often when I think of this trial or any other trial I face, a song from Young Women days comes to mind. (Read to the tune "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing")

“My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.

Chorus
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.

Chorus

The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned

Chorus

(Not part of the song, but still insightful words)
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.”

― Corrie ten Boom

These words have been a comfort to me. God truly sees it all, and we just see a little bit at a time. Sometimes I feel like I compare my life to books, movies, and plays. I see there's a conflict, then after some character growth, the characters reach the end of the conflict. I then wonder why my life can't be solved like this. I forget though that it is like that...just a bit more time. I need to remember that books and movies I can read or watch in a matter of hours. The setting takes place typically in a much longer time than a few hours, sometimes years. I then look at my ring and remember the conflicts which have been resolved and the growth which was involved. It was hard. But "it's supposed to be hard...The hard is what makes it great" (A League of Their Own). Those trials in my life were so worth it for the blessings which came in return. So as I face trials now, I just need to have patience, faith, and God. It will all work out. It will all be revealed in His time.

Those with whom I have had these conversations, I don't know why exactly they are going through these times of facing the daunting why, but one thing I know for sure of why they are dealing with this time is to influence me. If anything, they are going through these times for me-to be a shining light for me to follow. Sorry to add that burden on them for me :-/. But  I am grateful for them for trusting me with their troubles, so I can grow and learn from their wisdom and strength.

Now to those who are reading this, you are a light to someone. You are their strength. You are living right now to influence. If there's anything I learned from my mission and from life, it's that you never know who is watching. You never know who is watching your example and learning from the actions you take. Thank you for showing me your light. Thank you for your courage to reveal your light. Keep going. Keep smiling. Show your light to the world. Volim vas.